btw i am hanging out at twitter these days bc I’m notsure how this site works no more.

GO MEXICO!!

GO MEN’S THIGHS!!

CAMEROON? CAMERWHO?

i got an OPI gel manicure in Here Today, Aragon Tomorrow and it is the exact color of the 2008 Bullitt edition Mustang that I almost bought (somebody with MONEY snatched it up first). I can’t depress myself like this.

I enrolled in some classes for fall so I can finally unclench my butthole about that whole being behind thing.

I named my car Regan bc its legit possessed by the devil btw. It started by itself while the keys were in my hand (dont have alarm remote) and would not turn off until I pretended to drive it!!

I’m at the car dealership waiting for fucking ever (2+ hours) for a diagnostic for my new car that is apparently possessed by the devil and I had some gross tea and now there’s a guy that just walked in with a guitar and is singing and now he’s looking at me and now I want to have a cranial hemorrhage and die.

winecat:

alcoholicgifts:

look at that dirtbag chest tat poking out of his strategically unbuttoned smedium shirt and the jaunty hair and the beard

catbountry:

we dont want any

catbountry:

we dont want any

My aunt, life idol and former chola is about to be the plaintiff in an episode of Judge Judy so now I have actual proof whenever somebody accuses me of her making her crazy ass up. My Tia is loud and abrasive and virtually every boyfriend I’ve had has been terrified of her, my moms husband can’t even make eye contact w/ the chacalosa. I hope my daughters grow up to be just like her!!

I still see people talking about that lipstick on boards and I look it up and I say no thanks.

You know what it reminds me of?? Like a demure version of NARS’ Turkish Delight that Kim K was all about seven years or butt shots ago. I remember I brought it home and tried it on and started to laugh. Lmfao, man, it was bad.

There was also an Estee Lauder shadow quad w/ some stage make up grade gold eyeshadow that I got from a woman who didn’t want it because it was “too much.” Naturally that got a lot of daily play w/ that creepy lipstick that made me look extra jaundiced. WHAT LOOKS, WHAT LOOKS. I wish I hadn’t trashed the pictures.

My mom kept all of my garbage from high school and she dropped off a pail of trollop spackle I created real fun wacky looks with back in ‘05. I wished I had friends in high school who would’ve told me the Rimmel Airy Fairy lipstick (pale gold pink shimmer, mess.com) I reduced to a nub did not suit me in the slightest. Neither did that Lancome brush that deposited powdered bronzer. Real Rock of Love looks I was sporting.

I had my brows extra arched and my hairline threaded, my physical self esteem is through the roof, my people.